An alien fled to the planet, Earth, on a survey mission. When he landed, he realized that he didn't know how to speak a single human dialect, so he took up four different jobs, in an attempt to learn English. First the alien joined a choir, then he got hired as a waiter, next worked at a preschool and finally, he ran a comic store. Dispite his diverse jobs, the alien was only able to learn one word from each.
The next day, a chain of murders occured in the town that currently houses the alien. While investigating one of the murders, the police officer asked a group of people, "who commited this crime?" Upon hearing this, the alien decided to perform a scale, "me me me me me me me". The police officer was suprised at this remark, and proceeded to ask, "what did you kill him with?" The alien then responded, "forks and knives, forks and knives." The officer was, again, baffled at what he was hearing, so he continued to ask, "What were your motives?" The alien then replied, "cause he stole my lolipop!" At this point, the officer wondered if he was dealing with a madman or not. To assure his guess, he proceeded to ask the alien one last question, "who do you think you are?" "SUPERMAN!"
(This is a Trollpasta)