(This is a trollpasta)
I've always been a big fan of the popular anime Cory in the House. In fact, I guess you could say it was my favorite anime and that I have excellent taste in Japanese culture. I watched all of the episodes and owned all of the merchandise because that's what every good otaku such as myself does. However, I don't think I'm very weeb for Cory in the House anymore since I saw that one episode ...
One day I was at a garage sale, looking for any Cory in the House merchandise that I may have missed. I found a DVD with the words "Cory in the House Episode 666" hastily written on it in Comic Sans font. Who would disgrace Cory in such a way to write Comic Sans on his DVD? I never saw this "Episode 666", so I bought it and immediately went home to watch it.
The episode started out normally, but Cory had hyper-realistic eyes and a fedora. He walked to his father and asked, "Dad, are you ready to take over the white house?"
"Of course I am, son." Cory's dad went to the white house's armory and got himself and Cory dual miniguns. "Now let's kill the president and America will finally be ours."
They went on a rampage through the white house, killing everyone in sight as their hyper-realistic blood and gore went everywhere. Finally they reached the oval office where the president was cowering in fear. They both shot at him until he was just a bloody and gory mess. I guess you could say it was a bit gory in the house.
With the president dead, Cory turned to his father with a revolver, pointed it at him and said, "Sorry, dad, but I don't need you around anymore."
"No, Cory! Wait!" He shouted as he put his hands up. "I thought we were gonna turn the United States of America into the United States of the Baxters together!"
"No," Cory said as he shot his father in the face, killing him. "It's the United States of Cory."
The former president's daughter walked in. "Hey, what happened to my dad?"
Cory looked down at her and said, "I'm your dad now." The studio audience laughed as Cory turned to the camera and tipped his fedora at the viewer. The episode ended there.
"Since when the fuck was Cory a fedora-wearing neckbeard?" I raged. The rest of the episode was fine aside from that one small detail. "I hate Cory in the House now! It's the worst anime ever!" I threw out all of my Cory-related merchandise and tried to live a normal life, but then Kyle Massey tracked me down and put me in a federal prison for the rest of my life for rejecting him.
I'm now awaiting execution and I have to tell everyone reading this before I die to seriously go look up and watch episode 666. If you can overlook Cory's retarded MLGness, it's a really good episode.